As if car sellers aren’t shady enough, those touting their wares on Craigslist have spawned entire dictionaries aimed at translating their optimistic descriptions into realistic terms for shoppers. But one Dodge Viper owner stands apart for the brutal frankness of his ad for the car.
“I am frankly afraid of it now,” he admits of the car that should have been voted “Most Likely To Try To Kill You.” “It’s in my garage and I’m afraid to drive it because it is like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.”
The seller further attempts to disabuse readers of the notion that maybe they can man up and wrestle the Viper into submission, where he had already failed.
Alas, “You don’t got this,” he assures readers. “But for $30,000 you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride. You were warned.”
If you don’t have $30,000 for a used Viper, you could always try to steal one, like in this Pennzoil-produced video.
But apparently someone refused to listen to the seller’s good advice and bought the car, because the ad is gone from Craiglist, but was preserved in this Imgur.com post.